SEND OLD MEN TO WAR
By Johnny Choate  ~  Myrtle Point, Oregon

     If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC, but I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.
     They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters:
     Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
     Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
   An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
     An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
     They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me… uh …one." And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
     An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum - all great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.
     Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11 The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

     Gung-Ho: The Chinese used this term to describe Marines in China around 1900. In the Chinese language, gung-ho means working together. That's what the "American Marines" were always doing, "working together," the Chinese explained. The term stuck to Marines like glue. Today it conveys willingness to tackle any task, or total commitment to the Corps.

Rules of Engagement

US Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with at least a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point Presentation.
6. Wine and dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD &defense industry executives 7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines.

"God of our fathers, who by land and sea have ever lead us to victory, please continue your inspiring guidance in this the greatest of all conflicts. Strengthen my soul so that the weakening instinct of self-preservation, which besets all of us in battle, shall not blind me to my duty to my own manhood, to the glory of my calling, and to my responsibility to my fellow soldiers. Grant to our armed forces that disciplined valor and mutual confidence which insures success in war. Let me not mourn for the men who have died fighting, but rather let me be glad that such heroes have lived. If it be my lot to die, let me do so with courage and honor in a manner which will bring the greatest harm to the enemy, and please, oh Lord, protect and guide those I shall leave behind. Give us the victory, Lord."

--General George S. Patton

     "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."   --John Stewart Mill

"War is cruelty. There's no use trying to reform it, the crueler it is the sooner it will be over."
--William Tecumseh Sherman

You have never lived til you almost died,and for those who fought for it, life has a flavor that the protected will never know.
Cpl Edwin L. "Tim" Craft, B Co 3rd AT's, Khe Sanh Combat Base, February, 1968

This is the Marine who wrote the quote on a c-ration box.

If you ain't busy living, then you gotta be busy dying......
Never follow leaders......
Even the president of the USA has to stand before the mirror naked.....
Never lead followers.......
You don't have to be a weatherman to see which way the wind blows..…

     It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It's the military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

     WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE! IN GOD WE TRUST.

"I doubt it will ever see the light of day -it's a project on winning and America's three favorite after dark activities -Poker, Sex, and Violence."  ?Col. Bill Polaski

Never underestimate the power of world domination  ?LOL

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."  ?Matthew 25:40

Historic Custer battle
The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war.

Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre

Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"

Pravda: "Big Red Victory."

Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"

Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"

Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"

The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." - Dwight Eisenhower. (The 34th President of the United States, who previously supervised the invasion of Normandy and the defeat of Nazi Germany as the General of the US Army, then acting as a Supreme Commander of the Allied forces.)

Shit: Through the Eyes of the Military
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is shit."
An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and jogged 18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good shit."
A Navy Seal lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running 25 miles at night past enemy positions, says with a grin, "This is really great shit."
A Marine, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back and weapons in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, "I love this shit."
An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of shit is this?"

"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!"
?John Wayne