"I want you boys to hurry up and whip these Germans so we can get out to the Pacific to kick the shit out of the purple-pissing Japanese, before the Goddammed MARINES get all the credit!"
LtGen George PATTON, USA 1945

"Marines are about the most peculiar breed of human beings I have ever witnessed. They treat their service as if it was some kind of cult, plastering their emblem on almost everything they own, making themselves up to look like insane fanatics with haircuts to ungentlemanly lengths, worshipping their Commandant almost as if he was a god, and making weird animal noises like a band of savages. They'll fight like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake of a little action, and are the cockiest SOB's I have ever known. Most have the foulest mouths and drink well beyond man's normal limits, but their high spirits and sense of brotherhood set them apart and , generally speaking, of the United States Marines I've come in contact with, are the most professional soldiers and the finest men I have had the pleasure to meet."
~ An Anonymous Canadian Citizen

"The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of Marines. LORD, how they could fight!"
~ Major General Frank Lowe, US Army

"Panic sweeps my men when they are facing the American Marines."
~Captured North Korean Major

"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's

One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...
- From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook

"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons."
-Russian military doctrine.

...At a prewar diplomatic conference, the Nazi Foreign Minister Ribbentrop "sniffed" to Eden and Churchill that if there was another war, the Italians would be on Germany's side!

To which Churchill supposedly replied: "that seems only fair, we had them last time!"...

"The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis."

- from a post-war debriefing of a German General
Pearl Harbour Radio Operator: "Is there anything that we can provide?"
Response from Marine Commander on Wake Island: "Send us more Japs!"
.... Said to be one of the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.
In 1836, the Creek and Seminole Indian tribes in Georgia and Florida were waging war against the United States. The U. S. Army had its hands full. The Fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps offered the services of a regiment of Marines for duty with the Army. Henderson placed himself in command and, taking virtually the entire available strength of the Corps, left for the extended campaign after tacking a terse message on his office door which read:
"Have gone to Florida to fight Indians.
Will be back when War is over.

A. Henderson
Col. Commandant"
The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.
-Italian proverb

Funny Quotes From Bumper Stickers
There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.
- Bumper Sticker

You can have my gun when you pry it from my paranoid, mentally disturbed, physically-abusive, cold, dead hand.
- Bumper sticker

"Don't tell mom I'm a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse"
- Bumper sticker

Funny Uknown Quotes

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
- Unknown

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for
- Unknown

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day
- Unknown

Draft beer, not people
- Unknown

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching."
-Unknown

"Artillery is the King of battle: the King cannot
swim, however, which is why we need you guys."
(USMC arty specialist to a group of Navy officers in an Amphib
Warfare Indoc course.)

Funny Latin Quotes

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum
Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head

Funny Quotes about Air planes and Aircrafts

"Airplanes can barely keep themselves in the air. How can they then carry any kind of load?"
- William Pickering, Astronomer (1908)

"Airplanes suffers from so many technical faults that it is only a matter of time before any reasonable man realizes that they are useless!"
- Scientific American (1910)

"No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris."
- Orville Wright.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
- Marshal Ferdinand Foch [Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre] (circa 1911)

He was Supreme Commander of Allied forces, 1918
"Aviation is good for sport, but for the Army it is useless!"
- Marshal Ferdinand Foch

"To throw bombs from an airplane will do as much damage as throwing bags of flour. It will be my pleasure to stand on the bridge of any ship while it is attacked by airplanes."
- Newton Baker, US minister of defense (1921)

Funny Submarine quotes

"Yes, it is possible!"
-William Bourne, English inventor. (1578) He also points out that submarines can be an effective weapon in wartime.

"The only thing that will happen is that the vessel will sink, and suffocate the crew"
- H. G. Wells, English writer(1902) (Submarines had been used since ca. 1850)

"Even if a submarine should work by a miracle, it will never be used. No country in this world would ever use such a vicious and petty form of warfare!"
- William Henderson, British admiral(1914)

"The bended knee is not a tradition of our Corps."
General Alexander A. Vandergrift, USMC
to the Senate Naval Affairs Committee, 5 May 1946

Speaking with the general
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"

The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".

The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."

The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"