The purpose of Side Board Honour Guard aboard military ships
     In today's military, we have many unique customs. What is not realized is that what is now custom formerly had a real purpose. Take the use of Side Boys to welcome a ranking visitor aboard a military vessel. It is the task of assigning two, four, six, or eight men to line both sides of the gangplank based on the ascending rank of the officer visiting the vessel, with two being assigned for ensigns and Lts, up to eight for admirals and above. More rank, more honour guard, right? But this system originally served a darker purpose....

…..this custom came from the British Navy of the 17-18 century. back then, men did not often have the luxury of walking on to their ships: most had to transfer from a small boat to the larger ship by Ladder, or by a device called a bosun's chair, which was essentially a seat attached to a yardarm by a block and tackle. Here where the relevance comes about: the younger and less rank you had, the lighter you were. thus, a light midshipman or LT needed only two men on the haul rope, while a long endurance and often very stout Admiral, having eaten everything and then some over their forty year careers, tended to need eight men to pull them up. additional jobs, such as availing themselves to steady the person after getting them to the deck, and helping with the persons luggage and other dunnage they would bring with them, also necessitated a required number of hands based on their weight or amounts of belongings collect throughout the years.

The Whole 9 Yards..
The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
Another explanation is this one:
British Frigates of the 19th Century had 27' masts.
The ship speed was controlled by the amount of sail raised.
To achieve full speed, the 'whole nine yards' was hoisted.
This usage of the word is in the QM's book from one of the few ships that fought at Trafalgar
*and* the Nile - pre-dating WW2 by 150 years.

Radio Interview with General Reinwald
This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. "
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? "

This is fiction. According to NPR no such interview ever took place. But it's a good story anyway.... :)

A Few Good Men: On 20 March 1779 in Boston, Capt. William Jones, USMC, advertised for "a few good men" to enlist in the Corps for naval duty. The term seemed ideally suited for Marines, mainly because of the implication that "a few" good men would be enough. This term has survived for over 200 years and has been synonymous with U.S. Marines ever since.

Chinese learned this
Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy Plane

10. American codes can be broken by anyone with a basic understanding of Pig Latin

9. On-board computers were mainly used for Internet casino video poker

8. According to plaque, "When Bush gives order, nod politely, wait to hear what Cheney says"

7. Cockpit full of Colt 45 bottles

6. Mission was to determine if Chinese people can fly like in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"

5. "Cloaking device" button only there because pilot's a "Star Trek" fan

4. Maybe not the best idea to write "Spy plane" on wings

3. The plane's sole security feature: an angry kitty

2. Plane is so high-tech lavatories feature futuristic blue water!

1. Americans smell like Doritos and Aqua Velva

-o0o-


1. Seek brilliance in the basics, always do the right thing, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
2. If you are riding at the head of the herd, look back every now and then and make sure it is still there.
3. Never enter an hour-long firefight with five minutes of ammo.
4. (This one is really important for all of you born north of Washington, DC) Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
5. If you're not shooting (I can see by your marksmanship badges that some of you are challenged in this area) you'd better be communicating or reloading for another Marine.
6. There are three types of leaders; those who learn from reading, those who learn from observation, and those who still have to touch the electric fence to get the message.
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
8. And finally (you might want to write this one down) Never slap a grown man who has a mouth full of chewing tobacco.

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." From an old carrier sailor

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.." -U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -General MacArthur

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."  Unknown Marine
Recruit

Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don't Screw with it, if it Works!
USAF Sgt.

"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him." -USAF

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!" "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." -Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes FULL Power to taxi to the terminal." As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft , having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"

More DI Sayings
I am sure that everyone has heard it from time to time in The Corps but the most profound thing that I remember my SDI, GySgt Bruce E. Boltze saying to us was "The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war". Gunny Boltze was promoted to CWO# and was shot down in an OV-10 Bronco over the South China Sea in 1971...his 3rd tour. Researching his accomplishments and medals, he was a Marine's Marine. Proud to have known him, even for only 8 weeks in 1969.

Semper Fi
Jim Wolter
1969-1974

FLSG-A Khe Sanh 1-30-1968

The President of the United States of America takes pride in presenting the Navy Cross (Posthumously) to Sergeant Jesus Roberto Vasquez (MCSN: 2126694), United States Marine Corps, for extraordinary heroism while serving as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician with the Ammunition Company, Supply Battalion, First Force Service Regiment/Force Logistic Command in connection with operations against the enemy in the Republic of Vietnam on 30 January 1968. During a mortar and rocket attack at the Khe Sanh Combat Base, several rounds landed in the ammunition supply point, igniting a stack of ammunition. Sergeant Vasquez, unhesitatingly rushed to the burning munitions and assisted in fighting the fire. Observing an 81-mm. mortar round burning and aware of the proximity of his comrades and the possibility of detonation, he lifted the round in an attempt to throw it into a deep crater where its lethal effects would be absorbed should it detonate. In his attempt to throw the round, it exploded, mortally wounding him. By his bold initiative, gallant fighting spirit and loyal devotion to duty, he was instrumental in saving his comrades from further injury or possible death by absorbing most of the impact with his own body. His great personal valor reflected great credit upon himself and enhanced the finest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life for his country.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.   Will Rogers

"Guadalcanal is no longer merely the name of an island. It is the name of the graveyard of the Japanese Army."
[MGen. Kiyotake Kawaguchi, Imperial Japanese Army, 1943 after the US Marines handed the Imperial Japanese Army its first military defeat in over 1,000 years]

"Men are basically smart or dumb and lazy or ambitious. The dumb and ambitious ones are dangerous and I get rid of them. The dumb and lazy ones I give mundane duties. The smart ambitious ones I put on my staff. The smart and lazy ones I make my commanders."      - Attributed to Field Marshal Erwin Rommel,

When an Army captain asked him for the direction of the line of retreat,
Col Puller called his Tank Commander, gave them the Army position, and ordered:
"If they start to pull back from that line, even one foot, I want you to open fire on them."
Turning to the captain, he replied "Does that answer your question?
We're here to fight." At Koto-ri in Korea
- Chesty Puller at Koto-ri in Korea

Marine Drill Instructor: PRAY!
Recruits: This is my rifle! There are many like it, but this one is mine! My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, like I master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true! I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me! I will! Before God, I swear this creed...My rifle and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life! So be it! Until there is no enemy! But Peace! And that!
Drill Instructor: (Gives command to disarm) AT EASE! Good night, Ladies!
Recruits: Good night, sir!