We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.
Douglas MacArthur

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
Elayne Boosler

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
Murphy's First Military Law

Friendly fire isn't.
Murphy's Second Military Law

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
Murphy's Third Military Law

Incoming fire has the right of way.
Murphy's Fourth Military Law

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.
Murphy's Fifth Military Law

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Murphy's Sixth Military Law

Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
Murphy's Seventh Military Law

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
Murphy's Eighth Military Law

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
Murphy's Ninth Military Law

Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
Murphy's Tenth Military Law